Tara: Our ability to empathize and respond with compassion to each other is one of our most precious capacities, and it's hardwired into us. Neuroscience has revealed mirror neurons and other structures in the prefrontal cortex that make up what is sometimes referred to as our compassion circuitry. This system enables us to perceive the emotions and even the intentions of others. However, when we're stressed, our compassion circuits can be blocked. Most of us have experienced how, when we're under pressure, facing deadlines, worried about finances or dealing with a conflict, are less than sympathetic with our colleagues or clients or family. So this is where mindfulness-based compassion comes in. Numerous studies show that mindfulness practice directly engages the parts of our brain that are key and attuning to others' emotions.
First, we're able to more readily recognize when another is hurt or afraid. We're able to feel with them, and with that, the tenderness of compassion naturally arises. And then secondly, as we respond mindfully with love and caring, that tenderness blossoms. These are the two elements of a mindfulness-based compassion practice, letting yourself be touched by another's pain and responding with care.
A judge at the Washington, DC Superior Court finds her mindfulness practice a valuable. She talked to me about the challenge and necessity of being able to feel with those facing the bench. Otherwise, she said, she would lose access to the wisdom of her heart in pursuing justice. The key aspect of mindfulness-based compassion training is learning to recognize and turn toward vulnerability rather than away from it. This can be challenging, especially if you have a negative reaction to someone. For a moment, imagine yourself walking in the woods and coming upon a small dog under a tree. You go over to pet it, but it lunges at you, fangs bared. Your immediate reaction is anger and fear, but then you notice that that dog's leg is in a trap, and your anger turns into concern. In the same way, when people behave in ways that cause us to react in anger or fear, it means their leg is in a trap. The moment you let yourself truly open to that person's pain, your natural response will be that you want to help.

Well, compassion arises most quickly when others are from the same tribe, the same race, religion, ethnicity. As we learn to deepen our attention to the realness of another suffering, the tenderness of compassion includes those from different backgrounds and species. Some fear that they'll be overwhelmed if they let in another suffering. People tell me, "I'm already too thin- skinned and sensitive. I can't handle so much emotion." This capacity to include more and more of the world in our hearts is the hope for ending racism, for ending war. It's the hope for peace on earth. As the poet Rilke writes, "I live my life in widening circles that reach out across the world." As we widen our circles of compassion through mindfulness, as studies show, we also enhance our own levels of happiness and well-being. Our evolution has hardwired us to realize our inter-connectedness and live with caring open hearts. Let's explore this together.

Please sit in a way that allows you to be relaxed and alert and take some moments to let go of any tension that might have accumulated in your body. Allowing your body and mind to settle, be at ease. Bring your Hill attention to the natural rhythm and quality of your breath. As the breath flows in, allow yourselves to receive this life energy. Be aware of the experience of no resistance, of allowing yourself to be touched by the sensations of the breath. And with the out-breath, notice the sensations of letting go and releasing into the space that surrounds you. Imagine your total body and consciousness flowing outward with the breath and mingling with the vastness of space. Breathing in and receiving, and breathing out and letting go. Now, invite into your awareness someone you know personally, who's suffering, someone who you want to help. You might imagine yourself in this person's circumstances, experiencing this person's fear or hurt or loss. What is it like to look at the world through these eyes, to live inside this particular body, to feel with this heart?

Can you sense what is the most vulnerable, painful part of this person's experience? What does he or she most need? As you sense this, breathe in, letting this person's pain touch your heart, allowing yourself to feel it gently, with each in breath attending to and sensing this person's vulnerability. And as you breathe out, sense that you're releasing this suffering in the vast caring presence. Breathing in gently, contacting the pain, and breathing out, letting it go into the benevolence and love that fills this universe. If it's difficult to feel this person's vulnerability, feel your own tender body, your throat, chest, belly, and focus on softening. If you find you have any resistance or difficulty finding compassion as you practice, hold this resistance too with compassion.

Breathing in, feeling touched by vulnerability. Breathing out, offering your care and love, sensing how suffering is held in compassion now enlarge the circle of your compassion to include all those who are in the same situation, experiencing the same suffering. If the person you want to help is grieving a loss, breathe in and out with all those who are experiencing the pain of loss. If this person feels like a failure, breathe in and out with compassion for all who feel like failures.

Sense as you breathe in the unconditional willingness, tenderness, and receptivity of your heart. And as you breathe out, the vastness of loving awareness that it's here, holding the world. Continue breathing, opening to the universal experience of suffering, and letting go into spaciousness with your caring prayer. As your heart opens to touch the suffering, you can become that openness. As you offer your tenderness, your awareness becomes suffused with compassion.

You can do an abbreviated version of this compassion practice whenever you encounter suffering. If you or someone you meet is having a hard time, pause. And for several breaths, silently breathe with compassion for his or her or your own pain. And with each breath, gently letting go into the larger space of love and presence. Whenever difficulty arises, it's an opportunity to practice mindfulness-based compassion.
© Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield
Reprinted by permission.