'Letting Life come to me, letting Life pass through me' ~ Ross
Jack: You are now prepared to learn one of the most valuable aspects of mindfulness practice, how to respond wisely in the face of strong emotions. When strong emotions like fear, anxiety, anger, resentment, or shame, and guilt arise, we can easily get overwhelmed by them. Lost in the force of these feelings, we feed them with stories about why we feel this way, who might be to blame, what we should have done or will do, reacting in ways that we might later regret. The good news is that mindfulness is a powerful and effective way to work with such strong emotions. Studies at the University of California have shown that mindfulness and compassion can directly diminish reactivity in the face of difficult emotions.

Here's an example of how this can work. In a mindfulness class, Gene described struggling with his reactions to one of his coworkers who was often manipulative and jealous, undermining the team efforts so that nothing could get done. Gene was so caught up in frustration and anger; he would sometimes wake up at night, not knowing what to do. Maria was gripped with fear when she sent her nine-year-old son off to school. He'd been talking about kids getting bullied, and she was horrified at the things he reported. But the school seemed to be doing little about it. She knew her small son could be next.

They both knew they had to address these situations directly, but they also sense that they needed to do so without being as emotionally caught up and reactive. In class, they began to practice mindfulness with them. First, the teacher asked them to begin to start to breathe with the feelings of frustration and anxiety, so that gradually a sense of space could open up to hold them. They were encouraged to name the feelings and let the energy of the frustration, anger, and fear expand, and to discover that as the feelings expanded, they gradually lost their powerful grip.

They were reminded not to judge the feelings or make them go away, but just to recognize them as a protective human response and hold them with kindness and compassion like a sympathetic grandfather or grandmother. At this point, Gene and Maria began to notice that their strong feelings had other feelings underneath them. Beneath Gene's anger, there was hurt, fear, and worry. Beneath Maria's anxiety was helplessness, shame, a sense of futility. After they held all these feelings with compassion, they recognize that these are the challenges for workers and parents everywhere. They felt a confidence that now they could work with them. Strong emotions are not the end of the story. With mindfulness and greater emotional balance, both Gene and Maria were able to communicate more successfully, respond to the problems, and begin the necessary changes.

Let's try this. Take a seat with graciousness and dignity. Let your body settle and bring a kind attention to whatever is present. Fill your body with the half-smile of kindness. Now bring your attention back to the natural rhythm of the breath or body anchor. Continue with this relaxed and calming mindfulness. When your attention wanders, kindly bring the puppy back.
Now, let's turn the quality of your careful attention to deliberately focus on strong and difficult emotions. Take a moment to remember a situation of difficulty in your life. It might be at work or at home or elsewhere. As you remember and picture this difficulty, let yourself remember how it feels when you're in it. Choose one of the difficult emotions that arise at this time. It might be fear or hurt, anger, or frustration. Don't focus on the story about the situation. But drop-down and sense the feeling in your body. Notice where it is, and let it be here for a time, breathing to make space for it. You can name the emotion softly, allowing it space to be and to expand in the field of mindfulness.

Now, add compassion. Don't judge the feeling or try to make it go away. Hold it with compassion for all the suffering connected with it. See how it responds to compassion. As you allow this strong feeling, imagine how many others are experiencing this same feeling across the world, and let your compassion grow to include them as well.

And now, notice if there are other strong feelings around or underneath this initial emotion. Hold these too with the same spacious awareness and gently allow the whole experience. Let compassion and mindfulness work their magic. And if in working with strong feelings, you get overwhelmed, ground yourself by simply going back to the breath or body anchor for a time. And then when you feel steady, try a little bit again.

And now, let's incorporate this understanding in our core practice. Bring your attention back to your breath or body anchor. And when a strong body sensation or a strong emotion, especially a difficult one, pulls your attention from the anchor, let go of that focus and bring your mindful and compassionate awareness to the feeling or sensation, naming it softly as it moves and changes. After time, when it's diminished or you are at ease with it, return to the breath or your anchor until another strong feeling or sensation arises. 
© Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield
Reprinted by permission.