Tara: One of the great philosophical and spiritual questions is, “Who am I really?” We usually identify as a separate little self- made-up of wants and fears, successes and failures. When asked this question about our true identity, a famous meditation teacher responded by holding up a really large sheet of white paper and he drew a small V-shape on it. Then he asked the students what it was a picture of and most responded that it was a flying bird. “No,” he said, “it’s a picture of the sky with a bird flying through it.” What you pay attention to about yourself, about life, determines your experience.

Focusing on the bird is like paying attention to what’s most obvious in the foreground of your mind, thoughts, sensations, feelings. Shifting to seeing the sky is like opening to the context that’s holding those experiences. In mindfulness practice, this larger context is often referred to as the ocean of awareness, that wakeful openness in which everything you perceive is happening. The ocean of awareness is always present. I’d like to have you do a little experiment for the next 10 seconds try not to be aware, okay? Starting right now.

So, were you able to not be aware? Naturally, you couldn't do it. Instead, you might have been aware of what you were seeing or hearing, thinking or feeling. And maybe for some moments you were also aware of being aware. Awareness is always here. We’re just not usually conscious of its presence. So far our mindfulness training has primarily focused on the objects of awareness, that sensation of the breath and body, feelings, sounds, thoughts. Now we can extend our training to investigate awareness itself, turning mindfulness toward the formless dimension of experience.

When we look in the mirror, we see the face and body we've identified with as it changes over the years. Now that’s the bird in the foreground, but there’s something more. You might ask yourself, “What has always remained the same? Has always been there each time you’ve looked?’’ Perhaps as you reflect on this, you can sense there’s been in the background and unchanging presence, a consciousness or sentience that’s unchanging through time. As you become mindful of this presence, the awareness that’s looking through your eyes right now, the awareness that’s listening to these words, you awaken to a profoundly enlarged sense of being. You discover a presence that’s naturally open, wakeful and tender.

Perceiving the nature of awareness is perceiving the essence of who and what we are. In the moment moments when we tune into this spacious awareness behind sound, sensation and thought, we're taking what the Zen masters call, “The backward step into the timeless refuge of awareness itself." This is who we are beyond these changing forms, this temporary life. Stepping into this refuge can help us remember our priorities. It's a homecoming that gives us peace, wisdom and an open heart in the face of inevitable change and loss. Sometimes it’s not possible to directly turn towards awareness. If your mind’s stirred up, then it’s best to practice as you have in thus far, first collecting and relaxing with mindfulness of the breath and of the body. Once your body and mind are in a relative state of ease, you can then explore being mindful of awareness, taking the backward step.
Tet yourself approach awareness with a light touch. Simply being curious and receptive to what’s here. If you find you're thinking about what’s happening, let go, and with interest and ease, simply open again directly to the presence that’s always right here. When

you turn toward awareness, you don't find anything you can put your finger on, and yet there’s this mysterious ever-present knowing. If you find that this practice seems confusing or overwhelming, let it go and resume your core mindfulness practice. You can revisit this part of the journey whenever you choose. So let’s explore this together.
Please sit comfortably, letting yourself be alert and relaxed. You might take a few full breaths, inhaling and filling the chest and lungs and exhaling slowly, releasing any tension you feel in your body or your mind. And taking a few more moments to settle, relaxing with the inflow and outflow of the breath. Open your senses now, listening to sounds, letting the sounds wash through you. Listening to and feeling the play of sensations in your body.

See how fully you can open to the river of sound and sensation, relaxing, opening, listening to, and feeling the whole moment. Can you sense this changing flow in the foreground and also sense in the background that alert inner stillness that’s aware of everything? What’s it like to recognize the awareness that's here? Can you sense the space of awareness, the vastness, and openness that includes everything that’s happening?

Again, let your senses be wide awake listening to the sounds, the close-in sounds, and the more distant sounds. Listening not just with your ears but your whole awareness letting the sounds wash through. Can you sense in the background the silent awareness that’s listening. Notice how that open silent awareness is inherently wakeful. There's a knowing quality moment to moment spontaneously recognizing knowing sound. Continue with your senses wide open and awake allowing the symphony of sound to wash through you. The whole play of sensation. Sensing sounds, sensations, feelings in the foreground and in the background that wakeful openness of awareness. Relax back and be that awareness. Can you sense how the experiences of this world continue to play through you without in any way capturing or confining the inherent fastness and wakefulness of awareness? You are the sky with the bird flying through, naturally tender, open, awake. Recognize this as your true home. Relax back again and again into the purity and radiance of your own awareness.
© Tara Brach and Jack Kornfield
Reprinted by permission.